Your Pool of Eligible Dates - Identifying the Right One
Here's a little visualization that helps people keep their head in the right place when it comes to the whole dating process. It will keep you focused on the goal of meeting your spouse and will prevent you from falling into the rut that sometimes comes from rejection or long periods without good (or any) dates.
Picture a huge swimming pool. Every person in the entire world is in it, except you.
This pool is your “pool of eligibles”.
Your "pool" of eligibles is the group of all the people who are eligible for helping you with your goal. Our goal here is finding your spouse. Your pool of eligibles has your future spouse in it.
Now, since this is your private "pool" of eligibles, you are the only lifeguard.
Walk up and down the length of the pool with a bullhorn and a whistle. You make the rules here.
See people of the wrong gender? Yell into your bullhorn, blow your whistle and tell them all to get out. See people that are too old? Too young? Too tall? Too short? Married or otherwise involved? Wrong religion or level of observance? People you already dated and are absolutely positive aren’t for you? Call them all out right now. Tell them to get out of your pool.
Once you have shrunk your pool according to your criteria, present yourself to the people left in it. Announce to everyone there that you are the only prize and anyone who won’t consider dating you, for whatever reason, should get out of the pool immediately.
Now, the only people left in the pool are your true "eligibles". You now have a choice to make about your attitude: You can either focus on all the people who used to be in the pool, now loitering at the side, and get depressed at how many people there are in this world that you are NOT going to marry. Or, you can focus your attention on the people still in the pool.
Your spouse is one of the people still in the pool. Wouldn’t it be easier to figure out who belongs with you if you could shrink the pool a little more?
See, whether you call the person out yourself or they decide to jump out on their own, your pool is being emptied of ineligible people. The fewer people in the pool, the easier it will be to find the one person left swimming - the one with whom you can happily spend the rest of your life.
It will be hard at times, but as you journey through your dating experiences, try to remember – it is not a bad thing to evict someone from your pool (e.g., end a wrong relationship) – or to have someone jump out on their own (by choosing to end the relationship themselves.) The fewer people in the pool, the easier it is to see the one who swims alone – waiting for you.
Better Shidduchim is here to help you figure out how to decide whether or not a person belongs in your pool, make sure you only meet people who do and help you determine which one is meant to be yours forever.
Picture a huge swimming pool. Every person in the entire world is in it, except you.
This pool is your “pool of eligibles”.
Your "pool" of eligibles is the group of all the people who are eligible for helping you with your goal. Our goal here is finding your spouse. Your pool of eligibles has your future spouse in it.
Now, since this is your private "pool" of eligibles, you are the only lifeguard.
Walk up and down the length of the pool with a bullhorn and a whistle. You make the rules here.
See people of the wrong gender? Yell into your bullhorn, blow your whistle and tell them all to get out. See people that are too old? Too young? Too tall? Too short? Married or otherwise involved? Wrong religion or level of observance? People you already dated and are absolutely positive aren’t for you? Call them all out right now. Tell them to get out of your pool.
Once you have shrunk your pool according to your criteria, present yourself to the people left in it. Announce to everyone there that you are the only prize and anyone who won’t consider dating you, for whatever reason, should get out of the pool immediately.
Now, the only people left in the pool are your true "eligibles". You now have a choice to make about your attitude: You can either focus on all the people who used to be in the pool, now loitering at the side, and get depressed at how many people there are in this world that you are NOT going to marry. Or, you can focus your attention on the people still in the pool.
Your spouse is one of the people still in the pool. Wouldn’t it be easier to figure out who belongs with you if you could shrink the pool a little more?
See, whether you call the person out yourself or they decide to jump out on their own, your pool is being emptied of ineligible people. The fewer people in the pool, the easier it will be to find the one person left swimming - the one with whom you can happily spend the rest of your life.
It will be hard at times, but as you journey through your dating experiences, try to remember – it is not a bad thing to evict someone from your pool (e.g., end a wrong relationship) – or to have someone jump out on their own (by choosing to end the relationship themselves.) The fewer people in the pool, the easier it is to see the one who swims alone – waiting for you.
Better Shidduchim is here to help you figure out how to decide whether or not a person belongs in your pool, make sure you only meet people who do and help you determine which one is meant to be yours forever.
