I was in the customer service line at WalMart. There was only one register open and 4 people in line ahead of me. I knew I was there for a while so I did the only thing a person can do in a long line at Walmart - people watching.
A couple joined the line behind me. I'm guessing they were in their 30s. I didn't notice wedding rings (Yes, I looked) but based on the conversation that followed, I assume they were living together.
They were each carrying a large plastic storage tub. After about a minute, he said to her, "Do you want to stay here and I'll walk around or do you want me to stay here and wait while you walk around?"
"Do we need anything for the house?" she asked. (That's how my super snoop brain assumed they live together.)
"No. But this line is going to take forever. The way I see it, we have three options. I can stay here while you walk around, you can stay here while I walk around or we can both stay here and wait for our turn."
With a smile and a gentle nudge she said, "Let's both stay here and wait for our turn."
"Why do you always seem to pick the least productive option?" he said with a laugh. She wasn't laughing.
It was clear to me that what she was asking for was time with him. To a woman, even just standing in line together is relationship building. To be in our mate's presence makes us happy. To feel like he actually wants to be around us makes us even happier.
To this guy, either of them walking around Walmart, even though they didn't "need anything for the house," would be more "productive" than standing in line together. But to her, if they needed something, that would make sense but since they didn't, the more productive choice was to stand in line together. What she was hoping to produce was connectivity, closeness, bonding and togetherness.
On the one hand, women need to understand that men who speak this way just don't get us. It isn't that they don't want to connect to us. It is that they don't feel closer to us by standing with us in line at Walmart. On the other hand, men do need to understand that for women, that is an opportunity to make the woman in your life feel like you want to be with her, which is very productive for the relationship - and, if done right, may even bring about the opportunity for you to feel closer to her the way you want to get closer!
If you need more help understanding the opposite gender or in any of your dating needs, check out www.BetterShidduchim.co
A couple joined the line behind me. I'm guessing they were in their 30s. I didn't notice wedding rings (Yes, I looked) but based on the conversation that followed, I assume they were living together.
They were each carrying a large plastic storage tub. After about a minute, he said to her, "Do you want to stay here and I'll walk around or do you want me to stay here and wait while you walk around?"
"Do we need anything for the house?" she asked. (That's how my super snoop brain assumed they live together.)
"No. But this line is going to take forever. The way I see it, we have three options. I can stay here while you walk around, you can stay here while I walk around or we can both stay here and wait for our turn."
With a smile and a gentle nudge she said, "Let's both stay here and wait for our turn."
"Why do you always seem to pick the least productive option?" he said with a laugh. She wasn't laughing.
It was clear to me that what she was asking for was time with him. To a woman, even just standing in line together is relationship building. To be in our mate's presence makes us happy. To feel like he actually wants to be around us makes us even happier.
To this guy, either of them walking around Walmart, even though they didn't "need anything for the house," would be more "productive" than standing in line together. But to her, if they needed something, that would make sense but since they didn't, the more productive choice was to stand in line together. What she was hoping to produce was connectivity, closeness, bonding and togetherness.
On the one hand, women need to understand that men who speak this way just don't get us. It isn't that they don't want to connect to us. It is that they don't feel closer to us by standing with us in line at Walmart. On the other hand, men do need to understand that for women, that is an opportunity to make the woman in your life feel like you want to be with her, which is very productive for the relationship - and, if done right, may even bring about the opportunity for you to feel closer to her the way you want to get closer!
If you need more help understanding the opposite gender or in any of your dating needs, check out www.BetterShidduchim.co
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