Okay, so to figure out what traits make up your perfect date, go here: http://www.bettershidduchim.com/what-we-do.html
To help you determine if an idea is a good date spot, read on:
The worst words to start a date are "So, what do you want to do?"
(Okay, I confess, perhaps there are worse ways, but I personally hate this one!)
First of all, I'm a woman. I like a man with a plan. I think most women do, but I dare not say that here. I believe that a man should always have a SPECIFIC plan and a SPECIFIC backup and that the woman should always have her own backup, just in case.
So, what does that look like in real life?
First off, I think the general plan should be communicated clearly before the date. Meaning, I don't support the "Let's get together sometime?" as a way of asking a person on a date. I think "Cam I take you to dinner Wednesday night?" is much nicer. Now she knows what to wear (shoes not appropriate for a hike are okay now) and not to eat beforehand.
Then, his specific plan can be "I was planning to take you to Manhattan for dinner. I thought I'd let you decide between restaurants A and B. I like them both. What do you think?" I strongly suggest this conversation be had either when she first gets in the car if not when you are both walking to the car (as in he knows to pick her up at her door). It should be had while the people are looking at each other so he can see if her face falls when she says one of the places or what the plan is. If it does, he needs to either ask her what is wrong or assume she didn't like the plan and ask for direction. For example, he could say "or we can pick a different restaurant in the city..." if that doesn't seem to fix her smile, he can back further out "unless you rather not go into the city? or did you eat? What would you like to do?
I know, you just looked at the top of this blog and said to yourself - SHE JUST SAID THAT IS THE WORST WAY TO START A DATE!!! THIS WOMAN IS NUTSO!!!
I may be, but I didn't contradict myself. Those words are cancerous to a date when they are the first choice. If he comes with a plan and a backup and she doesnt' like any of the choices, then she should give him some choices.
To help you determine if an idea is a good date spot, read on:
The worst words to start a date are "So, what do you want to do?"
(Okay, I confess, perhaps there are worse ways, but I personally hate this one!)
First of all, I'm a woman. I like a man with a plan. I think most women do, but I dare not say that here. I believe that a man should always have a SPECIFIC plan and a SPECIFIC backup and that the woman should always have her own backup, just in case.
So, what does that look like in real life?
First off, I think the general plan should be communicated clearly before the date. Meaning, I don't support the "Let's get together sometime?" as a way of asking a person on a date. I think "Cam I take you to dinner Wednesday night?" is much nicer. Now she knows what to wear (shoes not appropriate for a hike are okay now) and not to eat beforehand.
Then, his specific plan can be "I was planning to take you to Manhattan for dinner. I thought I'd let you decide between restaurants A and B. I like them both. What do you think?" I strongly suggest this conversation be had either when she first gets in the car if not when you are both walking to the car (as in he knows to pick her up at her door). It should be had while the people are looking at each other so he can see if her face falls when she says one of the places or what the plan is. If it does, he needs to either ask her what is wrong or assume she didn't like the plan and ask for direction. For example, he could say "or we can pick a different restaurant in the city..." if that doesn't seem to fix her smile, he can back further out "unless you rather not go into the city? or did you eat? What would you like to do?
I know, you just looked at the top of this blog and said to yourself - SHE JUST SAID THAT IS THE WORST WAY TO START A DATE!!! THIS WOMAN IS NUTSO!!!
I may be, but I didn't contradict myself. Those words are cancerous to a date when they are the first choice. If he comes with a plan and a backup and she doesnt' like any of the choices, then she should give him some choices.
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