I recently overheard a mother correct her son's etiquette. "I'm at home. Ain't this supposed to be the one place I don't have to be perfect?" the teen argued.
"Isn't, not Ain't." She corrected, his eyes rolling. "And here, we love you no matter what, but out there, you have to survive in a society that has already made assumptions about you. You have to be better than who they think you are just to prove you are worthy of whatever they have to offer you."
"When I'm out there" he said, pointing out the window to the street, "I will behave according to the rules of out there. But could you just leave me alone while I'm in here?"
I thought it was a fair argument. Afterall, I know lots of people who teach their children that certain words or table manners or behaviors are only acceptable "in the house".
The mother looked unmoved. "Practice in private assures performance in public." By the time she got to the third word, he was saying it with her.
I couldn't help but say it again to myself. It is so true. If a word isn't okay in public, why do we let ourselves (much less our children) say it in the house? If manners are important in this world, why don't we teach them as being important always?
If you have a bad habit or need to improve your table manners, don't train yourself to be conscious of it when you are on a date, train yourself to always be conscious of it. Then, it will become second nature and you won't have to think about it at all. Practice in private assures performance in public.
If you need help figuring out ways to change your bad habits, or need to figure out what they are, or what else might be standing between you and your intended one, please set up a 15 minute free consultation. We're here to help!
www.BetterShidduchim.com
"Isn't, not Ain't." She corrected, his eyes rolling. "And here, we love you no matter what, but out there, you have to survive in a society that has already made assumptions about you. You have to be better than who they think you are just to prove you are worthy of whatever they have to offer you."
"When I'm out there" he said, pointing out the window to the street, "I will behave according to the rules of out there. But could you just leave me alone while I'm in here?"
I thought it was a fair argument. Afterall, I know lots of people who teach their children that certain words or table manners or behaviors are only acceptable "in the house".
The mother looked unmoved. "Practice in private assures performance in public." By the time she got to the third word, he was saying it with her.
I couldn't help but say it again to myself. It is so true. If a word isn't okay in public, why do we let ourselves (much less our children) say it in the house? If manners are important in this world, why don't we teach them as being important always?
If you have a bad habit or need to improve your table manners, don't train yourself to be conscious of it when you are on a date, train yourself to always be conscious of it. Then, it will become second nature and you won't have to think about it at all. Practice in private assures performance in public.
If you need help figuring out ways to change your bad habits, or need to figure out what they are, or what else might be standing between you and your intended one, please set up a 15 minute free consultation. We're here to help!
www.BetterShidduchim.com
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